60 Wishes for a 60 Game Season
It's almost, actually here...
That it plays to conclusion, safely and with good health for all.
That it ends on a World Series as bizarre as the year deserves.
That the Dodgers don’t win that World Series.
That it brings joy and gladness.
That Kruk and Kuip make us horse-laugh at least once a week.
That we turn off the video feed and just listen to Jon and Dave’s voices at least once a week — especially if Jon has the opportunity to say: “Chadwick Tromp.”
That Joey Bart is here soon (I’m circling next Tuesday on my calendar, dammit!) and he survives the leap into hyperspace.
That Bart hits at least one major league pitch this far:
That we all collectively and spontaneously shout “Oh Shit!” in our respective quarantined private spaces when it happens and feel just little bit closer and more connected for a moment. Thank you Joey!
That we can come together over a few virtual “Dick! Dick! Dick!” chants too.
That we’ll see at least six (number pulled from the nowhere of my mind) brand new Giants make their big league debuts this year, including surprising inspirational successes from low-round, low-regarded players who persevered and improved (looking at you Caleb Baragar!).
That Conner Menez builds off last year’s debut and turns into an All Star reliever who ends up being the next championship’s version of Jeremy Affeldt.
That Austin Slater establishes a “Lefty Masher” reputation that keeps him in the bigs for the next 10 years.
That Logan Webb is put into high leverage short relief stints and allowed to let loose with his stuff.
That the GIFs from the 2020 season are remembered for as long as these:
That Johnny Cueto recaptures his pre-TJ glory and gets one more chance for a ring (wherever it may be).
That surprises emerge from the pitching staff potpourri that stick around San Francisco long enough to be Forever Giants.
That Tyler Rogers continues to befuddle major league hitters with his funhouse-mirror release point and counter-intuitive movement.
That Camilo Doval’s ungodly Whirling Dervish of a delivery comes to Oracle Park to delight us all.
That Mauricio Dubon hits enough to stick in the lineup and provides the Giants with their best CF production/80-watt-smile combo since Andres Torres wore the French Vanilla.
That baseball fans around the country unite to boo the Astros from their phones:
That the Bronx Bombers beat on the Astros like a garbage pan in October — in Houston!
That exciting new talents emerge to thrill the country in places like Chicago (Luis Robert), Anaheim (Jo Adell), and Oakland (Jesus Luzardo) —- not so fast, Gavin Lux! I didn’t say anything about Chavez Ravine!
That we hear something … anything! … out of the alternate camps to let us know how Marco Luciano and Alex Canario and Luis Toribio and Hunter Bishop and so many others are doing.
That a new system for minor league play is agreed upon and announced — soon!
That that system not be a draconian victory for MLB that cuts minor league owners out of the game they’ve given so much of their lives to.
That the new system DOES improve training facilities and travel obligations AND PAY for minor league players.
That the Giants figure out creative ways to develop their prospects in 2020 even without minor league games to play — and not just the star prospects in the Sacramento camp but all of their youngsters from Aeverson Arteaga to Raffi Vizcaino (couldn’t think of a “Z” player in system).
That the minor leaguers out there figuring it out on their own (and the college players who didn’t get drafted doing the same, and high school players still hitting the showcase circuit) stay safe and healthy along with their families and friends.
That at least one team projected to finish last rides a hot month to the post-season.
That at least one universally acclaimed playoff team stumbles and falls (cough<Dodgers>cough).
That the Baby Blue Jays find a home and thrill us all with a Vladdy Jr. led run.
That Madison Bumgarner throws a CG shutout in the Wild Card game for old time’s sake.
That Andrew McCutchen gets another post-season — and not just one game’s worth this time!
That there’s a .400 hitter — maybe even an attack on .427!
That Ronald Acuña provides the world’s greatest 30/30 season. (Hey it’s possible!)
That Garrit Cole chases his 2019 60-game mark of 133 strikeouts.
That some team channels the ‘84 Tigers and wins 45 games.
That baseball takes a sincere and active part in the discussion of race in America (warning: pro-Dodger material):
That the phrase “school to prison pipeline” gets repeated enough that its stark and painful reality gains a mainstream awareness and understanding throughout all levels of our society.
That Rob Manfred really does give Preston Wilson a call:
This one’s a longshot, but I’ve always wished that we’d all go a slight bit goofy and suddenly declare Ray Charles’ version of “America the Beautiful” as our new national anthem.
That Hunter Pence and Pablo Sandoval delight and inspire us many more times. Rage, rage against the dying of the light, you two! Or in your cases, perhaps it’s: laugh, laugh against the dying of the light.
That Yaz is more than a one-hit wonder and continues to blossom and shine.
That Billy Hamilton wins an extra innings game by stealing home — from 2b.
That Hunter Bishop gets healthy, stays healthy, and gets into Alt Camp soon.
That Heliot Ramos debuts in September in Petco Park and knocks the Pads out of the playoffs by homering (again!) off über-prospect LHP MacKenzie Gore, leaving Southlanders to face the fall alone.
That Marco Luciano gets taught a few lessons by the veteran arms in Alt Camp and learns….and learns!
That Dany Jiménez completes his 50 days on the active roster and becomes a Real Live Giant (and a good one!).
That people see Alyssa Nakken as just another part of the team (but still remember how cool it was when she made history):
That after 60 games I’m able to remember the entire coaching staff and name them all by memory!
That Reyes Moronta returns again healthy and powerful.
That Brandon Belt hits 20 HRs and the bullpens get renamed Brandon’s Field (or is it the Belt-Pens?).
That Brandon Crawford does one of these moves just once during a game:
That the Poseys are all healthy, happy, and safe. And that we see Daddy swing a bat again soon.
That the Hjelles are all healthy, happy, and safe. And that we see the new Daddy throw a pitch again soon.
That Kai-Wei Teng, Luis Matos, Victor Bericoto, and all the young Giants stranded in Scottsdale since March get to see their families again soon.
That somehow, someway, Nick Noonan ends up back on the Giants just in time to hit a crucial post-season HR.
That in this bull-shittiest of even years, we get some good old fashioned Even Year Bullshit that takes the Giants to extraordinary highs.
That baseball does its unpredictable, unexpected, inexplicable, weird, mad magic and manages against all odds to “repair our losses and be a blessing to us,” as old Walt said it would.
Enjoy it everyone. For one game or sixty, it’s (almost) finally baseball.
I’m particularly agreeing with #25-28.
Also, knowing the names of all the coaches seems outside the realm of human comprehension.😊